What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority

Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

How do I run away? I'm 15 and live in Oklahoma.

Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

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What are some examples of unofficial acts by presidents?

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

At least until the peyote kicks in ...

Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

Have you ever dealt with a Christian narcissist?

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

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Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

What is the most ridiculous obviously false verse in the Bible?

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

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Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.

What is after school detention like in your school?

Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

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Shameless vixen! Trollop!

Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

Are there any guys, crossdressers, or transgender girls here who wear tampons?

Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

Why doesn’t the UK change their flag?

Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

Make Nazis afraid again!

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Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!